When you just can't stomach the BS anymore.
Do you need a reason to do what’s right for you? So you’re soft in the middle. So what? If you don’t want to be soft in the middle, do some fucking sit ups. Eat salads without cheese. Drink some water. If you wanna climb Mount Everest or be Mr. Fucking Universe, get busy.
Here are ten reasons why I eat whatever I want.
1. I am not a chick [look ladies – don’t get mad – I love you just the way you are]
2. My digestive system has never needed a fucking jump start
3. Danny was my next door neighbor who biked to work, ran 10 miles every fucking Saturday since he was a freshman in college, never touched red meat, never smoked or drank so much as a Zima. Danny dropped dead of a heart attack two weeks before he turned thirty-five.
4. My mom is a great cook
5. I am a great cook
6. My girlfriend likes chili dogs
7. My girlfriend likes beer
8. My girlfriend is SMOKIN HOT
9. I love my girlfriend
10. My girlfriend loves me and her dad has Cardinals season tickets SUUWEEEET!
Man Salad with Mustard Dressing
2 cups torn curly endive or whatever lettuce you like
2 cups spinach
2 cups torn red leaf cabbage
1 firm tomato or 8 cherry tomatoes
1 each sliced red, green, yellow bell pepper lightly grilled or raw
1 red onion sliced thin
2 boiled eggs
10 ounces each of crabmeat and thinly sliced steak-any cut cooked however you like
Combine all ingredients in large bowl and chill then cover with dressing before serving
1 tablespoon prepared spicy mustard, 1 cup mayo, 1 tablespoon A1 Steak Sauce, salt, & pepper beat together until creamy with about 1/4 cup of milk or enough to make the consistency of salad dressing