When you just can't stomach the BS anymore.

Erroneous Food Facts

Eggs are good. Eggs are bad. No, wait, eggs are good. Alcohol is bad. Well, wine is good. Okay then, caffeine is bad. Wrong again, caffeine is so good we willingly wait in lines that stretch out the door and around the corner to pay six dollars for a cup of it.

Dairy is good when the fat is sucked out and substituted with oils and artificial flavors. Grain must be good, right? We no longer stand in bread lines, but the gluten, yeah that gluten is bad. Fruit is good. Except the skins coated with harmful pesticides. Oh and the sugar content. Sugar is…..okay this is where we have to face facts. Whether you eat for your body type, blood type or stereotype sooner or later some form of sugar is going to sneak past your lips. Carnivores and vegetarians alike eat sugar. Sugar energizes bodies as well as world economies. Fooditarians Unite!

Cha ching! Yep, that’s the sugar-coated shot heard ‘round the world. Sellers of everything from yogurt smoothies to diabetic testing supplies are cashing in while we live the sweet life. It’s true, we are what we eat. Eggheads eat eggs. Angel food cake is for, who else, angels and devils food….well, you know who you are.

Eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow zombie apocalypse! Be sure to ask for extra sugar, it will make you extra sweet. Zombies like sweets.


What's it gonna be? The chicken or the chicken?

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This entry was posted on April 14, 2012 by in Gravy Boat and tagged , , , , , , , .
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