When you just can't stomach the BS anymore.

I Know You Are Butts What Am I?

Name calling is one of the first ways we learn how to irritate another person. It isn’t as painful as a punch in the gut or a smack in the head with a Tonka truck, but for some reason it can fuel a rampage that is sure to get someone smacked with something. Possibly a lawsuit.

Kids at my son’s school have their favorites for sure, butthole and butt face are still popular choices, just in passing. That kind of name calling was put to a stop recently when some new kid came on the bus route whose last name is Butts. The Butts kid, it turns out, is equipped with some firepower he picked up across state lines, where the more sophisticated name callers live. I guess you learn to toughen up your vocabulary when your name is Butts.

My brothers and I were always on the lookout for names to add to our arsenal when we were kids. One time a family friend was entertaining us by reading an Ellery Queen mystery. He was an educated and worldly-wise friend of our father and he liked to sip whisky while he read. We listened intently anticipating how the detective would solve the mystery. It was a faulty typewriter that provided the clue that cracked the case. The line in the story that described how the clue was discovered was …..every time a “T” occurred, but too much whisky in the delivery produced – every time a T Atturd. Suddenly, from out of nowhere came, “You’re a T ATTURD!” The volley was faster than an F Bomb and on that day, T Atturd became the name caller’s first choice around our house. It caused more uproarious laughter than injury.

Name calling is kid stuff, for sure. So is getting offended by anything and everything people say whether it is intended to offend or not. What are we, a bunch o’ T Atturds?

Note: The awesome comic is from We’re supposed to tell fifteen friends, but we don’t have that many friends. So maybe if you aren’t offended by this post, you could maybe tell your friends. Thanks!

2 comments on “I Know You Are Butts What Am I?

  1. atelian33
    March 23, 2012

    Haha the best insults always happen organically like that. I wish I could call someone a T Atturd right now but I think having to explain the insult would defeat the purpose.

    Then again, maybe I’ll call them a T Atturd and not explain it and make them feel doubley as stupid for A) being a T Atturd and B) not even knowing what it is! Blammo, someone’s in for a world of insultitude!

    • phylisupton
      March 23, 2012

      That’s what we like to call a two for one T Atturd special. Thanks for the comment and the laugh!

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This entry was posted on March 23, 2012 by in Gravy Boat and tagged , , , , , , , .
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