When you just can't stomach the BS anymore.

Things To Do In The Shower

Evidently there are people who don’t know what goes on in the bathroom. This is a surprise to those of us who have dealt with a lot of crap. It seems the makers of toilet paper and cotton swabs lost a good chunk of experience when baby boomers started to retire and no one thought to potty train the up and comers before handing out all of those gold watches.

Tip: Take some of your ad buy budget and use it instead to put more cotton on cotton swabs; those damn things you’re selling now could hurt somebody!

For people who already know what happens in the toilet area, here are some ideas you may find useful in the shower, you know, when you’re bored:

  • Write notes to your lover on the shower walls. Messages appearing on steamy glass that say, I can see you or get out! will get their heart racing.
  • If you have tile walls instead of glass, look for faces in the tile’s swirling patterns and freak out your spouse by saying, guess who I saw in the shower this morning?

Note:  Once you point them out, your spouse will start doing it too. The fun could go on like that for months!

  • Instead of singing, compose some awesome slam poetry for your pet. Run it by your dog, cat, bird, fish, etc. before posting it though.
  • While the warm water is cascading over your head to rinse the conditioner out of your hair, close your eyes and place your hands over your ears. The sound is reminiscent of being in the womb. As you step out of the shower and the cold air rushes all around, pretend it’s your birthday!

Message brought to you by people for less crap and more cotton on Qtips!

What's it gonna be? The chicken or the chicken?

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This entry was posted on March 4, 2012 by in The Deep End and tagged , , , , , , .
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