When you just can't stomach the BS anymore.


No Shirt-No Shoes-No Problem. We do reserve the right to refuse service to anyone who can’t tolerate sarcasm glazed humor. If you are prone to allergic knee-jerk reactions or hypoglycemic hypocritical remarks, just kick back in the lazy boy with a box of hostess snacks for dinner. Come by if you must, but don’t disturb our other guests.

All topics offered on our menu contain ingredients that may cause sinusitis smirks, but occasionally we get some stuff from the fresh market that creates bloating belly laughs.

Now let’s dish.

Chairman Richard Cranium called a special meeting of the local school board to discuss changes in the school lunch programs that provide government subsidized meals. The first item on the agenda was the decision to discontinue serving alphabet soup.

Lunchroom supervisors in attendance stood up in protest. “Alphabet soup is nutritious,” one of them said. It’s one of the lowest cost items we offer and kids love it. Why is it being discontinued?”

The chairman cleared his throat and began to list the reasons. “It has come to our attention that kids are influenced by the objectionable letters in the soup. For instance, there’s the “A” word and then of course the “B” word, which is sometimes synonymous with the “C” word.”

Someone shouted from the back just then, “Yeah and don’t forget the “F” word!”

“So you see, the chairman continued, we must not allow these letters to be ingested in our schools and we absolutely will not pay for them with taxpayer dollars. The next item on the agenda is the upcoming PTA officer elections for this year. They’ve been cancelled. It just doesn’t seem fair to consider new candidates when the current officers have been doing such a good job for the last twenty years. We should be grateful to them for their willingness to stay on after their kids graduated.”

We don’t need no education.

What's it gonna be? The chicken or the chicken?

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This entry was posted on March 3, 2012 by in The Deep End and tagged , , , , , .
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